the anger parade

I'm forever blowing bubbles, pretty bubbles in the air.

2009-12-08T19:53:00.000-08:00

They fly so high, nearly reach the sky... in 10 1/2 hours I will be boarding a flight to Austin, where we should be touching down shortly before 2 PM. We're renting a car, and will make our way to Amy's and settle for a minute, then we can start making plans.

Unless, of course, the plane crashes in a fiery ball of doom, at which point I will have to ride a flock of birds (whatever type is available, depending on location, I suppose) to the safety of solid ground, and then rustle a horse/lama/donkey/bear to carry me the rest of the way. If this happens, I'll try to call with an updated itinerary.

Peace, love, and chickens. Out.

So Soft Yet So Hard

2009-12-08T08:29:00.001-08:00

The Voices

2009-12-07T11:20:00.000-08:00

Agent J

2009-12-07T10:47:00.000-08:00

Feelings of Inadequacy

2009-12-07T06:30:00.000-08:00

I had a strange and troubling dream last night. Though it was an extended and twisted vision, in the moments before I awoke it became something... else. I suddenly found myself in the CIC of the Battlestar Galactica, receiving orders from Admiral Adama (if who don't know what I'm talking about, for shame - go rent the new BSG immediately and become informed - take work off if you have to) receiving orders from Admiral Adama to prepare defensive maneuvers against a phantom enemy I no longer remember (there were no cylons in my dream - maybe we were fighting Space Invaders?). However, in the dream, all of Galactica's sub-routines were on 3.5" floppy disks, but they were not stored appropriately and the labels had worn off, and Galactica was taking heavy damage while I sorted through them, but I just couldn't find the defensive code disk. The Admiral was yelling at me, ordering me to load the sub-routine or we'd all die but I couldn't... I'll never forget the look of disappointment the Old Man gave me, the sad shake of his head. Then I opened my eyes, cold and alone in bed, filled with regret. Maybe I was a cylon, and had been programmed to fold under the pressure? Or to neglect the upkeep of the sub-routine floppies? And, gods, I know Galactica is old, but 3.5" floppies? Even if I had found the correct disk, it probably would have been corrupt.

Kill Humans I Terrorians!

2009-12-06T20:04:00.000-08:00

Congratulations to the Idaho Vandals. It was announced tonight that they have been selected to play in the Humanitarian Bowl. The game will be December 30th in Boise, Idaho. I don't know about you, but I have updated my NCAA rosters accordingly. So whether you can go or not, show your Vandal Pride.

The Strange Tale of How Wade Almost Got Run Over:

2009-12-04T09:26:00.000-08:00

There I was, power-trudging (you know, that exaggerated stomping walk that says "It's 5:00 PM, full dark, 15 degrees, and my left testicle just retreated into my stomach for protection, so I need to get where I'm going, like, fucking now") down the campus walkway toward the Student Recreation Center for some much needed (and I do mean much - approaching 210 lbs, a figure I haven't seen since Mike rolled my ass into the gym years ago) time on the elliptical and an injection of Jets Football (it wasn't pretty, but Jets win!) after work yesterday. The 4-way stop at 6th street is bustling with end-of-work-day traffic and cars and pickups are rolling around one another like awkward gears in a machine that could combust and crumble at any moment. A pickup turns left, and the skinny popsicle of a kid in front of me darts across the cross-walk as if he fears being caught up in the grinding gears and crushed, and I follow in my brisk, stomping manner. The car with right-of-way after the left-turning pickup is slowly creeping across the intersection toward me, as impatient and single-minded drivers (id est all human begins who sit behind the wheel of a motor vehicle) oft do. Only, as I approach the center of the crosswalk, and am nearly directly in front of the oncoming car's driver side headlight, the creeping vehicle's engine suddenly roars to life and the whole contraption leaps forward like a junkyard dog against it's chain. I shudder to a stop and attempt to assess the best direction for my imminent rolling dodge, but the car screeches to a stop just before breaking the plain of the crosswalk. My glare was meant to be impressive and dangerous looking. I wanted to light fire to the car's tires with my eyeballs, but my grimacing visage was instead twisted into a look of confusion. The driver was a young woman I did not recognize, which is no surprise, but she was looking straight at me and... smiling. And not a bashful sorry I almost broke your legs off at the knees with the big rolling pile of metal and glass smile, no. And not a grimacing Grinch sort of go a head and walk, I swear I won't fucking run you down, really smile. It was a heartfelt happy to see me, hope I'm having a good day, so sorry can't sit down for a cup of tea because I've got to get to the pound of donate food to hungry puppies smile, which just did not jive with all the dark, evil thoughts adrenaline was pumping into my brain-space. So I walked-away confused but otherwise unscathed. Maybe that was her plan all along. Perhaps she was some kind of mischievous demon-harpy who feeds off of confusion and misplaced anger. I had fantasies of kicking in her door, but that smiling face was a force-field against retaliation, even the day-dreamed variety. And here I am still thinking about it. Somewhere she is hanging upside down in a frozen cave patting a beer belly full of my exhausted emotions and humming to herself: "With a smile and a song / life is just a bright sunny day / your cares fade away / and your heart is young."

croissant

2009-11-30T13:35:00.000-08:00

Lets Talk About STRESS

2009-11-30T13:23:00.000-08:00

I am wound so tight that I feel as if I am going to explode. Not in the fiery make the news kind of way, more along the lines of a tourniquet too tight across your chest. It is going to sheer me in two far before it stops the bleeding.

And as much as I want to believe it is going to get better it hard to imagine it. Its frustrating to get those pats on the back. The hang in theres. The same advice and generic how to help yourself lines. It doesn't help but you grin and bear it. It doesn't matter that its gotten to a point that you find it borderline offensive, they mean the best even if those empty words don't pay for diapers and they certainly don't translate to dollars in that ever dwindling account of yours. You are doing what you can, what you know how to do. Yet it still isn't enough. Your hours have been cut down to nothing and you're living on hand outs.

Its to a point its the only thing that you can talk about. You don't even want to talk about it, its just all you are any more. It's like the world's slowest car crash that you are powerless to stop. Its going to happen. It doesn't matter what you do.

Unchanging Constant

2009-11-24T12:03:00.000-08:00

Going back to "school"

2009-11-23T10:50:00.000-08:00

I am going back to school. Community College to be exact. So maybe that isn't school school. I feel a little ashamed and embarrassed that I have to go back to begin with. Then theres the added thing that it doesn't feel like a college at all. I guess I need to get over that and find a way to make money. Meh.

The Right Way

2009-11-17T12:33:00.000-08:00

Theres just those days when you want to get in your car and just start driving. Turn up the radio and go. I think it is safe to say that November 17th is one of those days. I'm tired, sick and poor. More, I'm tired of being tired, sick and poor.

This Just In: I'm sick

2009-11-13T07:31:00.001-08:00

It started last night with lots of pain in my stomach and really rough nausea. It culminated about a hundred yards from my house this morning with me vomiting all over my car and halfway down Parkway Drive before I could get pulled over. I feel like shit. My joints hurt. My eyes hurt. I stink like stomach acid. I had to call into work. My car smells like apples, pepto and puke. The only thing that can cure me is a Vandals win tomorrow. Please Idaho. Heal me.

Vandals Wednesday: Tuesday?

2009-11-12T09:54:00.000-08:00

Click here to read more about the Idaho Vandals and the upcoming game against the Boise State Buhfroncos.

If Garret Blount can do it, why can't the Vandals!

2009-11-12T05:58:00.000-08:00

I love the point when the punch connects and that shit talking donkey drops.

Who needs ESPN U?

2009-11-10T07:26:00.000-08:00

Sure I wish I had it but thanks to my PS3 I don't really need it. Last week we were able to watch channelsurfing.net's feed to the game through my PS3. There was a little lag but I'm blaming Time Warner more than anything. I am getting geared up for the BSU game around here. We're are going to have all three kinds of Mickeys available if you feel like stopping by. (Mickey's Ice is not a type of Mickey's. It is diarrhetic.) I personally think that the Vandals have a decent chance in this game. Idaho has to play mistake free football and keep it close. The Broncos have this nasty habit of playing down to their competition. If they do that to us, they'll lose. One word of warning though about Enderle. I have never heard of a rotator cuff bruise. If it is torn even slightly he should NOT start this game. He will not have the accuracy even if he is able to muster strong throws. We would be better served to have Reader take the starters snaps in practice.

Halftime thoughts of the Idaho game

2009-11-07T21:02:00.000-08:00

Brian Reader. Why again is Brian Reader playing? Its nothing personal, it's not as if I am an Enderle fan. Heres the think. Nate Enderle is seven and two as a starter this season. Does he turn the ball over? He certainly does. What he also does is chuck the ball down the field for our wide receivers to make a play. Reader has looked good at the line of scrimmage, and all the way up until the milliseconds before the play starts. His audibles are correct and his reads are good. It just isn't working. The whole offense looks flat. Shaw had a good grab but he should be lining up opposite Komar. Get the ball to Greenwood or Hardy. Throw it down the field. Play with some urgency. Make a game out of this. Something.

My New Favorite Vandal: Thaad Thompson

2009-11-06T08:59:00.000-08:00

So he isn't a Vandal yet but he's almost there. Verbally committed to the University of Idaho, Thompson a junior college transfer is poised to help reshape the Vandal's defensive secondary. I had the pleasure of watching some game film of Thaad "Mother Fuckin' Doom" Thompson, and good god folks, this kid is fast. Not only that but he has fantastic size at 6'2" 210 for a safety. Take a few minutes and watch the clip. I think that after you do you'll see why Thaad just became this Anger Parader's new favorite Vandal!

Go to the game!

2009-11-05T09:50:00.000-08:00

Go to the game Saturday and show them how Vandal Pride rolls. If you are like me and live too fucking far away, go to govandals.com and espn's game conversation to support your team. When an online stream is up Saturday I will post a link on the top of the AP so you can watch and listen at home. Go Vandals!

Holy Fuck In Hell Batman!

2009-11-05T09:36:00.000-08:00

The Yankees won the World Series as MLB hits another low and renews its permit on the uninteresting boredom that permeates the once great game of baseball. Instead of doing my usual rant about the need for a salary cap , I will instead say that what makes baseball miserable is the obscene amount of money involved in all aspects of the game. While Major League Baseball has one of the most iconic logos in all of sports maybe they should consider changing it to something more fitting such as George Steinbrenner wiping his ass with a million dollar bill. There is something insane about a guy who pitches an inning every two to three days making nineteen millions dollars. There is also something just as wrong about paying fourteen dollars for a soda and a hot dog, and a c-note for a nosebleed seat. The Yankees has ushered in a trend in baseball and embody everything that I find wrong with the game I once loved. So fuck Mark Teixeira, Johnny Damon and the whole lot.

Problems in the Palouse?

2009-11-01T20:23:00.000-08:00

Moscow (A.P.)-- When the Idaho Vandals won their first game of the season not many in the community expected the type of turmoil that has resulted with each and every Vandal win.

In a town that is accustomed to losing a winning season is something that felt more like a pipe dream than the reality it has become after Saturday night's Vandal win over Louisiana Tech.

Many people, while excited about change in football fortunes, are fearful for what may become of their usual boring self's.

"I find myself drinking much more than I used to and feeling the need to emit a deafening roar while in public." stated one student.

Before the Vandals began winning many fans simply drank quietly locked away in their bedrooms listening morosely as the score came in then crying themselves to sleep each Saturday night. With the change of fortune, a new football climate has been ushered in all around Moscow.

There have been many reports of vandalism and a sharp increase of social drinking. Lt. Beam of the Moscow Auxiliary Campus Police stated that he had witnessed an exponential increase in the number of parties taking place after each and every Vandal win. "It looks like they're are having fun and I don't like it."

Other than policemen one former student felt that her misfortune drew a strict correlation from the University's success. According to Martha Matherson she hasn't always been an ugly pregnant hobo. "I haven't always been an ugly pregnant hobo, I'm sure of it!"