March Madness is Madness in March

I have to admit I know very little about basketball, especially college basketball. Luckily for you that means I know about a thousand times more than you on the subject. I mean I don't remember you beating me on NCAA Final Four Basketball. Not to sound like a jerk.., no I can be a jerk if I want to, I have a general comprehension of sports that most mere mortals could, well, never comprehend. It's not entirely your fault. Some of us were created in a little more of his image than others. Over time I have developed a very specific skill set that makes me far superior in the realm of sports commentary and analysis. It has meant much sacrifice in both my personal and professional life. I rarely look up from the stacks and stacks of spreadsheets and various screens that litter my every waking being. I think I may have had a cat at one point, but who has time for feeding time? Not I! Have you looked at how Virginia Tech is 11-23 against the spread after a non conference game? That's negative 13.5 units for gods sake! When I inhale I am filled with the aromas of dirty jocks and half empty cans of slurm but when I exhale I spread the sweet ambrosia of Bracketology to all those willing to receive the word.  Wichita State is +175? That is one I'll take! Have you looked at my baby? She is beautiful in her own way... I mean all children disappoint... We can only hope that they straighten up in the end... SAINT JOHNS WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU!!! I HATE YOU SO MUCH! I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU! ........It's okay. I know you didn't mean to hurt me. You couldn't have, actually.., meant.., to... Who needs friends when I have all this beautiful beautiful basketball?! Most certainly not me. Kittens you look different today. Have you always spoken the riddles of Manucious? Hold me close Digger. Tonight we dine in hell!