It wasn't an easy decision to have a child while I've been pretty sure life as we know it is going to end this year. Ever since those Jackals eating the City on the Mount dreams that started in college, it has been a race against the clock. That said we brought little miss V into the world and it's my job to get her ready for the revolution. On our list of skills that we have checked off so far include throwing and kicking. She has super sweet attack moves like the "monkey paw" (she grabs you by the face, pulls you close and twists as hard as she can, all the while laughing. It is god damned frightening.) and she has mastered the "death weasel" (Repeated jumps on the victims' diaphragm) then theres some sort of terrible pinch punch to your collarbone. She can march in time and can skip on one leg. She covers herself in homemade tattoos of Elmo's family which can be super intimidating. And now she hangs out with a rapping Koala that speaks Chinese...Maybe it isn't perfect, but it is a work in progress. We're totally like Jet Li and kid in Legend of the Red Dragon, fighting undead robot circular saw throwing metal crab ninjas and shit...
Ir a principal |
Ir a la barra lateral
Visitors Section Podcast
There is a embedded player for the Visitors Section podcast that is hosted by Josh Hastings and Mike Erwin on the bottom of the Anger Parade (under the posts folks.) It is a football podcast yo. It doesn't make me want to turn it off.
Dynasty Warriors changed my life
Once upon a time in a Seattle Hot Topic there was an idiot douche waxing on to some preteens about how Transformers the movie changed his life. I've never been able to quite figure out how his life may have changed after watching a box office turd about machines that change into other machines. What life long lessons could he have pulled from Shia LeBeouf and a car that can walk? At least Night Rider taught me not to pass out drunk in front of my kid and her cell phone. Lets just say I had serious concerns about this guys character.
I peed in your soap
After playing a few games of NCAA 2011 I have to begun to rethink the upcoming season and probably more specifically my plans to travel to College Station. The Idaho Vandals play Texas A&M in the third week of the season and I have tickets to attend. I'm going but I'm not very optimistic about the outcome. The only hope is that the Vandals keep it manageable and try not to lose in an embarrassing fashion. But who know? Mike Sherman is a crummy coach and maybe we'll catch a few breaks. See what I just did there? Why is it that as I as a Vandal fan I can somehow talk to myself into a victory in each and every game no matter the degree of ridiculousness? And you know what Aggies?! Fuck the Dixie Chicken! You heard me.
When you pee in my hood, lock the door.
It isn't fair to guests not to at least tell them that their possible private time on the potty isn't so private. It's toilet training time in my house and that means if monkey needs to wee wee woo woo she couldn't give a crap if you're pee pee poo pooing.
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2 comments:
I'm glad you brought this up. Every day I am more certain that we are about to face a reckoning. The middle class has always supported the wealthy, but as wealth continues to run uphill (despite what they tell us) the bulk of the rich grows while the middle class weakens. Eventually, the weight will be too much to bare and the whole system will tumble down on top of us. I will be slightly surprised if this country hasn't fallen to civil war and revolution in the next decade. So what is an expecting father to do? How can I begin preparing my son for the apocalypse? City living isn't the ideal training ground for post-apocalyptic living, but there are unarguable advantages as well. While firearms training will be difficult, a city-born child will grow up with a healthy paranoia of the people around him, honing the caution required for the knife-edge survival after the end of all things.
What age to you think it's appropriate for a child to make their first barehanded kill? And what manner of creature should the lessen entail? 4 or 5? Weasel or cat? Rat maybe? When are the muscles in the forearms strong enough to choke the life from your prey? So many questions...
as the father of a two year old I can tell you that my daughter has attempted several barehanded kills on our fattest of cats. She probably would have gotten away with it except the agony of kittenz alerted us in time to make a dramatic rescue.
While I have what some people call an unhealthy paranoia after growing up in Lawton, I prefer it to my mates complete and utter obliviousness to any and all danger around her. Plus for some who are constantly exposed a healthy amount of shittiness become better for it. They find humor in the meth head suing the city for the damage caused in the raid of their lab. You can laugh at the murders and maimings that would otherwise paralyze a well adjusted individual. I personally believe that it is important that V is exposed to the world, good and bad. She needs to be aware and prepared.
Except shes getting on the pill as soon as medically possible. What is with these people and their baby's babies?
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