The Anger Parade is Sexually Confused by Bad Teacher

Before I get into Bad Teacher, I want to apologize to the billions of people who don't read this blog. I know you don't visit this site to read half-assed movie reviews, because you don't visit this site at all and I'm not really sure why I'm apologizing to you. Huh.

Bad Teacher is funny. At moments, its really fucking funny. In fact, it had the theater howling for much of its run-time. Like any time Jason Segel is on screen. He nails the irreverent, immature, self-satisfied Gym Teacher perfectly. Also, Phyllis Smith's quiet, uncomfortable Lynn, the side kick, brings the giggles. The jokes are raunchy, the situations ridiculous, and there fun to be had in abundance.

That said, the whole thing never quite congeals, for a few reasons. One, is the other characters I haven't mentioned. Timberlake's awkward, out of place rich pretty boy substitute teacher too often overshot funny and landed in strange. Likewise, Lucy Punch brings a lot of crazy, but it's not always funny. Her character is a balance of cute and crazy, and when she's being silly and pouty she is freakin' adorable, but the wackier she gets, the less funny the character is. And then there is the biggest problem with the movie. Cameron "I'm too old for this shit" Diaz. I mean, come on. She looks like Edward James Olmos, for cryin' out loud. Not to say that she isn't funny. In fact, she plays the part of raunchy, over-sexed Bad Teacher woman very well, but too much of the movie relies on her being sexy, which she. just. isn't. I couldn't see guys drooling while she attempted a sexy car wash, for example. Diaz ended up being a huge distraction for me, and I would have much rather seen someone else in the role. I never really figured out if she was supposed to be a young, fresh teacher or a middle aged woman trying to escape this life she never loved. Which isn't all Diaz's fault. There are a number of issues with the screenplay. While the jokes often work, the story is a complete mess. We don't know why people are doing what they are doing, and while the ending isn't a surprise, because we know what's going to happen because, well, duh, it's not in any way built up to or believable in the world of these characters.

None of this ruined the movie, not for me. It was still funny and entertaining, but it falls well short of the other raunchy comedies of our generation, and if I were you, I wouldn't bother with Bad Teacher in theaters, but would definitely check it out on the rental platform of your choice.